


Perhaps if nothing else

by Pamcathat



Category: Grouptale - Fandom, Undertale
Genre: Deppression, Gen, Human Souls, Post Ending, Post-Undertale Pacifist Route, Suicidal Thoughts, green soul main soul so far, human souls get bodies again, lotta feels, post barrier
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-18
Updated: 2018-03-03
Packaged: 2018-12-31 02:01:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12122109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pamcathat/pseuds/Pamcathat
Summary: Frisk and co. Check in on the remaing human souls to find that kindness has something to say in person but what they have to say is much heavier than what most expect.





	1. 1st impressions and second chances

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my dudes! This is my 1st fanfic! Pls be gentle but also give feedback :D

Frisk had broken through the barrier, the pacifist route, and introduced monsters to humanity. After a few years Frisk asked Alphys to check up on the human souls that were meant for the barrier until frisk had broken the barrier with asrial's help. They were the same as always, Alphys said. Frisk asked for alphys to bring them the human souls. 'Thats impossible!' She cried. 'We cant keep them stable outside of the machine!' 'Then bring me to them' frisk signed. All of frisks friends tried to stop them, but frisks soul glowed with determination and that was the end of it. 

Frisk stood in front of the assembled souls, shaking slightly from the effort in their weak state. They stepped towards the soul two in from the left. The green soul, kindness, stirred in their container, glowing slightly. Even then however, their glow was considerably the weakest out of those present. Alphys muttered something about low determination and looked more nervous than usual. Even though Alphys' statement was spoken softly, the room was quiet enough for everyone to hear what she had said. Toriel covered her mouth with her paws and whimpered quietly, she had liked kindness very much and knew from rumors that they had gotten very far through the underground without hurting so much as an echo flower. Nobody knew what had killed them, no one had stepped forward when the death was announced. 

Frisk placed their hand against the glass and looked at Alphys, then at the ground. 'They have something that want to say. In person if possible.' All eyes looked from from the green soul to Frisk. Frisk had never told the others that they could communicate with the other human souls, but it didn't seem all that unlikely given what they had all been through in the underground. 

All attention was then turned to Alphys when she cleared her throat and began so speak in her usual quick and quiet manner. ' i d-don't think we ha-have enough time to construct a n-new robot body for them, b-b-but......' she stuttered to a stop staring at her toes. When Frisk finally got her attention they signed, 'But what?' Alphys took a deep breath and said in a near whisper 'If you are really serious about this, we could temporarily switch your souls.' The room was deadly silent, all jaws had dropped open. 'B-but this is extremely dangerous! If the souls don't have enough energy or DT then the soul will die m-mid-transfer and the b-body will not be able to take on the old host and F-F-Frisk will be stuck as a soul and-' Alphys talked at top speed until she was interrupted by Frisk signing 'I'll do it.' 

The room was filled with protests from all present until they were silenced by Frisk's conversation with the green soul. The soul was whizzing around in their capsule pulsating with green light. Even from the one sided conversation it was clear that Kindness was against the plan as well.  
'No, no we're doing this....... I don't care if lose my body.... Alphys will just make me a super cool robot body......... If it will help you get better i don't care what the risks are!' 

At this point frisk stood up with a look of horror on their face. Whatever Kindness had said it made frisk so horrified that they started to cry and repeatedly sign 'don't say that, please don't say that.' All the souls, except Kindness, buzzed around their capsules and were bumping into the glass sides. The green soul had dimmed significantly, drooped and dropped to the bottom of the capsule. 

It was a few minutes before the monsters could stop staring at this scene and take action. Toriel hurried over to frisk and cradled them in her arms. Undyne did the same to Alphys, who also was in tears at this point. Mettaton petted alphys on the head a few times before switching to comforting a shocked papyrus. Asgore stood next to toriel and tried to help frisk calm down. 

Sans was silent, wondering what the green soul had said to make the strongest kid he knew break down into tears. Was it a threat? He shooed the thought away, thinking to himself that the kid wouldn't try such a risky thing to someone who was trying to kill them. Still it wouldn't be the first time the kid had done something kind for someone who didn't deserve it. Flowey was evidence of this fact. He didn't want to doubt the kids friend, but he would have to keep an eye on Kindness when they switched bodies with frisk. 

Sans didn't quite remember what kindness looked like, he did however taste their amazing food and was quite surprised to hear that they had died. He was even more surprised the that the killer never came forward. He had liked the kid well enough but never quite trusted their seemingly unending kindness, despite the fact that it was their soul trait. Sans learned to trust frisk only after he was sure that they wouldn't hurt anybody and freed them from the underground. This green soul had made their savior cry with only a few words. What could those words be? He was definitely going to watch the green soul as closely as he could. 

'Hey kid, you sure you want to do such a F-risky thing?' Sans grinned as the kid smiled at him from between the two goat monsters. Papyrus groaned loudly and proceeded to scold sans about "PROPER MANNERS WITHIN A SAD ENVIRONMENT!"  
'Aw come on paps, you're tear-ing my heart in half!' Sans chuckles as papyrus grans louder.  
'Papyrus, if you tear his heart any further, he'll be needle-ing stitches!' Toriel chortles, joining sans in trying to lighten the mood 

Soon the whole room was laughing again, but they all still remembered what had occurred just before then. They wondered what kindness had said to frisk to make them cry, but no one wanted to ask in case the depressed atmosphere came back to haunt them. 

Eventually, everybody went home, but not before frisk said their goodbyes to the souls. They lingered at the green souls capsule and signed 'I hope you don't mean what you said.....yeah I'll see you soon too. Goodbye.' Frisk had a sad face when they turned to leave. This only solidified sans' suspicion of green souls motives. He narrowed his sockets at the capsule and left. 

The procedure was scheduled for the next week and all the monsters were worried beyond belief. Frisk visited the souls everyday and spent long hours trying to convince Kindness not to do what ever they had threatened to do. Sans went with the kid sometimes to try to figure out what Frisk was so afraid of. He never could, it seemed the kid couldn't or wouldn't say what it was. They pleaded that the soul would like them much better when they got to know them. This rang alarm bells in sans' head. It sounded like...like the soul didn't like monsters. This soul wanted to kill the monsters. 

Sans persuaded Frisk to leave early by saying that they should stop by undyne's and Alphys' house to talk about the procedure details. Sans knew that Undyne's attack turned souls green in the same way his turned them blue. So, undyne might know something about the green soul. It was a desperate leap, but it paid off. Undyne did remember somethings about the green soul.  
'That human was the one that taught me some cooking tips!' She grinned ' l remember that they was impressed by my enthusiasm for cooking after i asked about their pan.'  
'Pan?' Sans asked.  
' oh yeah, they carried around a totally badass pan for a shield. They were super good at hitting anything that was thrown at 'em.' Undyne mimicked a swinging motion as she said this.  
' Sounds pretty violent to me.' Sans commented, trying to sound nonchalant. Undyne laughed loudly, startling sans. 'That human wouldn't even try to fight back if jerry threatened to handcuff himself to them. Naw, they're just skilled at hitting things far away without it hitting anybody.'  
This confused sans, if the green soul wasn't violent while they were alive, then why were they violent now? He pondered this for the rest of the day and into the night. In the end, he concluded that spending such a long time in the capsule had made the soul go crazy. The fact that frisk wanted to bring this deranged soul into the world in their body was lost on him. Perhaps they want to try to make them kind again. That was a plausible answer especially since the kid was basically doing exactly that with flowey. It sounded like sans was going to have his hands full for a while. Especially now that frisk had sent him a text saying 'please make sure she doesn't do anything dangerous.' Sans quirked his eyebrow. "She" huh?

Soon the day of the operation came, everyone was nervous for frisk but respected their untold reasons to do such an act of trust


	2. Baby steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kindness is brought out to meet the monsters however she has intentions that may shock all present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow ok sorry for the gap between these chapters!!! Will update more regularly hopefully!

Frisks soul would be on standby at all times in case Kindness couldn't handle the transfer and they had to put frisks soul back into the body before it disintegrated. All the monsters held their breath as Alphys pulled the switch and stepped away. Frisk lurched as their soul was pulled from their chest. Alphys carefully placed the red soul into a capsule and turned her attention to the brightly glowing green soul. She placed it on top of frisks body and watched nervously as it slowly began to sink into the ribcage. When the soul disappeared from sight, Alphys flipped a switch and began running small amounts of DT into the human body. She hoped to the stars that this wouldn't turn out like the last time. 

When Alphys unhooked the body all the monsters present shuffled forward a bit to get a better look. Frisks body didn't look any different, but the aura was drastically different than usual. A few minutes past and the tense monsters began to wonder if something had gone wrong. 

Frisk took a breath. Eyes widened and jaws dropped as the human on the operating table stirred. They opened their eyes and glanced at the assembled monsters. The eyes were the only physical thing that changed, since the eyes are the windows to the soul. Their eyes had become a lovely green color, and the edges of their eyes had turned slightly down, Sans thought they looked very sad. When they started struggling to sit up Alphys scuttled over and helped them do so. Finally they directed their attention to the assembled monsters.  
'Hello.' They smiled at the stunned monsters. Frisk had never spoken, preferring to communicate through sign language. Was this frisks voice or kindness'?  
' It is very nice to finally meet you. Frisk has said so many nice things.' They placed a hand gently on Alphys' arm, who was still next to them, and said  
' i dont believe i met you last time, and yet i feel like i already know all about you from how much frisk has spoken of you.' They chuckled, but the entire room was stiff from the words 'last time.' Sans strained to keep his grin on his face. He still suspected that this human was dangerous. He was nearly grimacing at the thought until he noticed that undyne had stepped forward, grabbed their other hand and said ' wow kid! I didn't think I'd see you again!' Undyne grinned and continued ' D'ya think you could cook for us sometime?' Kindness smiled sadly and replied in a soft voice ' I'd love to, but i don't think I'll be staying that long. I cant stay in frisks body forever. ' Undyne deflated a bit before saying 'Don't be crazy! Alphys will be able to make you a human body, right babe?' Alphys smiled weakly before nodding and mumbling that she could try. Kindness giggled at undyne before asking if this was the adorable scientist she had heard all about. The reptile blushed and undyne grinned even larger. 

Toriel could take it no longer, she stepped toward the human and started crying. 'My child is that you?' Kindness smiled softly at toriel before replying.  
'Yes, it's me. I'm okay.' The human wriggled around on the table before maneuvering themselves in such a way that they could hug toriel. Toriel gently hugged back before letting go and wiping at her eyes. ' you thought you heard the last of me? You've goat to be kidding me!' The human carefully slid off the table and flicked toriel lightly. Papyrus groaned loudly before quietly shouting ' SANS, IS THIS YOUR DOING?' Sans chuckled and shook his head still staring at the wobbly human. Toriel kept an arm around the human to keep them from falling as they walked toward the rest of the monsters.  
Toriel grimaced as the human headed towards asgore.  
'Hello, i don't think we've met before.' The human reached out a hand to the old goat monster.  
' no, i believe not, I'm so sorry for what I've done.' His face was grave before the human let go of toriel and hugged him. Both him and toriel were surprised to say the least at this show of affection. Asgore wrapped his arms around the human and sighed happily.  
'You were doing what you thought was best. There is no need for blame if you're intentions were good. I was looking forward to helping anyway.' Asgore was happy at the first few sentences but looked puzzled at the last one. The human broke away and was about to hobble over to mettaton before asgore asked ' what do you mean " looking forward to helping"?' The human smiled sadly before saying ' I'll tell you later.' And turned away. Sans was puzzles as well. Why was this human so nice? Wasn't she supposed to be a crazy soul brought back to learn kindness? If that wasn't it then why did frisk cry? 

The human said hellos to all monsters present before sitting back on the edge of the table and saying loudly ' well, it looks like it's time to explain why I'm here.' They looked around and took a deep breath.  
'I do so hate doing this but.... Actually um, now that i think about it, do any of you have an apron or a pan? I think i left mine in the underground.' Kindness turned towards frisks soul as she said this. 'In the phone? Really?' She mumbled. Kindness took the phone handed to her by alphys and reaches into the dimensional box, searching a little before pulling out a burnt pan and a stained apron. After looking at them a bit, kindness continued her story.  
'I was a cook before i fell, i bet this old girl could still cook a mean egg!' Kindness laughed and stroked her pan a little.  
Papyrus cut in 'HUMAN, WHAT DID YOU WANT TO TELL US?'  
Kindness looked up and smiled.  
'Ah, yes. I wanted to say goodbye.' Undyne blinked and her grin fell before she said  
'why'd ya mean human?' Kindness smiled, but it looked more forced than intended. 'When i was in the underground and heard why you all wanted to kill me, i wanted to help. So I thought it would be best if i sacrificed myself for your cause.' Asgore's eyes widened and he stammered out 'what do you mean by that?' Kindness answered calmly  
'I had something that you needed and i didn't. I was happy to help break the barrier for all you lovely monsters, but' Sans had been dreading the 'but', ' it seems you didn't need my help after all.' She smiled sadly. 'SO ARE YOU GOING ON A VACATION TO FIND YOUR PURPOSE?' Asked papyrus excitedly. But kindness had turned away, towards the stand next to the operating table. The table with the knives. Sans stiffened and put up his guard. He saw the human rummage around before turning with a scalpel in her hand. His eye glowed blue but he waited to see if the human would make the first move. Kindness brought out her soul. It was glowing very brightly. She turned and looked at the monsters. ' i asked frisk to bring me out to say goodbye. So, goodbye.' She raised the scalpel and brought it down. Sans froze her arms, he knew that she was going to stab frisks body and keep them a stuck as a soul too. Keeping her that long in the jar had turned her good intentions sour when she wasn't needed, and now she was angry.  
'Hey there kiddo, i don't think you should do that. Don't wanna be damaging things that aren't yours do ya? Kids like you  
s h o u l d b e b u r n i n g i n h e l l .' He grinned and raised his arm to throw her against the wall.  
'Sans....' papyrus said in a small voice. Sans turned and saw papyrus looking timid and sad. ' I think you misunderstood their meaning.' Papyrus said and nodded to the still floating kindness. Frozen mid swing. Sans thought his brother was the one misinterpreting things, but he looked closer anyway. Oh. 

The scalpel was inches away from her own glowing soul. She was trying to kill herself. Tears streamed down her face as she looked up at sans. 'Please let me do this, i don't have any reason to keep living. This is what i wanted.' She whispered. Sans' jaw dropped. He had misinterpreted her entirely. She wasn't homicidal ,she was suicidal. 

Kindness' soul dimmed to a point that made her drop the scalpel and go limp in sans' magic. Alphys shook herself out of shock and stated that frisk had to be returned to their body immediately.


	3. Plan B

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan must be made to save Kindness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> enjoy :)

Fisk looked sadly at the green soul back in her capsule and turned to the monsters present. ' i thought that if she met you guys she would not wanna die so bad.' They signed slowly. Ah, now it all made sense to sans. He felt bad for doubting the kid and their friend and still holding onto a grudge from another time. He remembered a time when he felt like dying too, but that was because his brother had died. Sans had no idea why kindness wanted to die, and frankly, he wanted to know. 

Alphys was a nervous wreck in Undynes arms, she blamed herself for the souls actions. Even though she was told they weren't her fault. Alphys knew that it was her decision to keep the souls in the capsules. Her decision. Her fault. She felt herself spiraling into depression, the same one she had been in before frisk had freed them. Undyne stayed with Alphys all throughout her period of depression. Undyne had witnessed the kindest soul the underground had seen, try to kill herself. She would not leave Alphys alone in case she got the same ideas. 

After a while Alphys decided to find a way to get all the souls their bodies back. Starting with Kindness. Stars knows she was the most distressed. Alphys got to work studying human transplants, and recent studies in cloning. If she could find a way to clone human bodies, the human souls could get back their old bodies. Robots were an option, but she didn't know if human souls would take to monster magic enough to control it themselves. She wouldn't risk it.

A few weeks had gone by, frisk had been spending more and more time with the souls, 'talking of the good ol days' Frisk had said. Sans tried to have conversations with the souls, they usually didn't turn out too well.  
'Say kiddo, can i have a word with the souls?' Sweat beaded on sans' skull. Frisk smiled and nodded signing:  
' yes! They would love to have someone new to talk to. I'll have to translate though.' Sans let out an be breath and sat down next to frisk. Kindness shuddered in her capsule and dimmed slightly. Sans felt discouraged but began by asking:  
'So, do you all have names?' He felt this was a safe first question to ask. Frisk pointed to each of the souls and named them.   
'Perseverance, integrity, kindness, patience, justice and bravery.' Frisk looked back at sans.   
'No, kiddo i meant their names not their soul traits.' Frisk looked puzzled and looked back at the souls. They conversed back and forth for a bit with the souls before turning back to sans.   
'Most of them feel like their soul traits fit them better than their old names. Some don't want to remember what happened before they fell. Others forgot.'  
Sans stared and then blinked slowly at frisk and looked then the assembled souls.   
He nearly forgot how long they had been in those jars. 

Alphys had been in her lab for nearly 2 weeks. She had figured out an equation that might work and was now setting it up with the help of undyne and sans. Undyne lifted the heavy things while sans made sure they were put together properly. All that was needed now was a DNA sample from Kindness and a large supply of dt. Frisk had volunteered to help with the dt part, Alphys accepted the help gladly. Magic was to be used to help the growing process along and to make sure the body stayed healthy. After much thought and many calculations it was decided to put kindness in the machine itself instead of a sample so her body would be proportionate to her soul and easier for her soul to bind to.

Kindness was horrified when she was informed of their project and refused to be the first instead of the other souls. They were even more stubborn and eventually convinced kindness it would be a waste if she didn't go. Her soul was placed in the machine and Alphys signaled sans to pull the lever. The machine purred to life and everyone sighed with relief. Toriel wished to see all of her children in the flesh soon. Papyrus was overjoyed at the thought of reuniting with kindness and eventually all of the souls. Mettaton was nervous for alphys, if this failed, alphys would take all the blame and who knows how much failure the scientist could take. Sans was nervous for a second introduction with Kindness, hopefully a better one too. Asgore hoped that the humans would forgive him for his actions. Undyne was pumped for a reunion! Alphys was nervous and scared but was determined to see it through

A few days passed and everything was going smoothly. Kindnesses body was growing at a steady rate and Alphys estimated that it would done in about 5 days. 

4 days left.

3 Days left.

'Oh no.' Alphys paled as she looked at kindness's body inside if the machine.   
'What is it?' Sans rushed over and paled as well.  
Kindness had aged overnight and now was a decade over what they had been shooting for.   
'A-all those y-years of living in those capsules must be catching up to her!' Alphys started hyperventilating and started taping frantically at the control panel. Sans grimaced and rubbed her back comfortingly. Alphys muttered half at sans half to herself that they had to either find a way to reverse the aging process, restart or pull her our now.   
' we should pull her out now, it's better than let her age further while we try to make her younger, which we don't know if we can in the first place.' Sans tried to speak calmly as he said this but his voice still cracked several times. Alphys nodded robotically and pressed several more buttons on the control panel. Steam hissed and the machine's purr came to a halt. Kindness was carefully lifted out of the machine and placed on the operating table. Alphys checked her vitals and said they were stable. Now all they had to do was wait for her to wake up and try to think of ways to return her to the age she was before she died. They both had gone through 12 sheets of paper before the steady beeping of the heart rate monitor spiked and the human lurched up with a gasp. Both the scientists ran over to her with their souls in their throats. They had no way of knowing if the human could maneuver this body or if the shock of the flesh would kill her. They hoped for the best but kept their hopes restrained by their doubts.


	4. Not for me but you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alphys helps kindness get through a wave of emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow lotta feels in this chapter but pls give feedback and comments :)

The human lay gasping in their arms for a couple minutes before she could breathe normally. Her heart rate slowed and the scientists felt at least some of their doubts be resolved. Her eyelids shivered frantically to open. Finally they snapped open and stared at the ceiling with such desperation that Alphys feared something had gone wrong. Her lips moved slowly, sounding out words that were too soft for anyone to hear. Alphys leaned close to her mouth and caught a few words that she repeated to sans with sadness as kindness cried softly between them.  
'I hoped it would fail' Alphys almost started crying as well before sans opened his mouth to hopefully try to comfort her.  
'Listen kiddo, i know this wasn't on your wishlist, but you're gonna break frisks heart with words like those. If everything else is pointless to you, fine, but do you want to see frisk cry like you are now?' Alphys started bawling at the mere mention of frisks tears and struggled to wipe her own tears and keep kindness sitting up. Kindness closed her eyes and croaked out something about 'frisk being happier without her.'  
'Is this what you think? That the kid brought you all this way because they would be happier without you?' Sans glared at the human and said  
'I'm sorry kiddo but you're staying with us now.' He laid her back down on the table and walked out to tell the monsters that the operation had been a success. Kindness sobbed and curled herself as best she could into a ball away from Alphys.  
Her weak voice echoed across the room.  
'I have nothing to live for, i'm a waste of space. This was a waste. I wanted to help  
and i couldn't even break the barrier. Frisk is so much.... more than i am.' Alphys knew how she felt and wished she could say something elegant to make her feel better.  
'Y-you matter to s-s-so much to frisk. Y-y-your p-purpose right now is t-to live for f-frisk.' Kindness listened to her words and felt that, if nothing else, she could live for frisk. Her tears slowed and she shakily turned to Alphys.  
'I have a feeling you lived for frisk too at some point.' Alphys nodded and kindness pulled her into a hug.  
'If you can live through that, so can I.' Kindness whispered.  
Alphys started sobbing again, but this time of happiness. She wrapped her talons carefully around the human in a hug. She rested her head on the humans bare shoulder. Bare.  
'Oh m-my goodness! We need t-to get you some c-clothes before the others come!'  
Alphys scampered across the room to retrieve some clothes for Kindness. She grabbed a blue hospital gown and helped kindness into it. Once the human was dressed Alphys asked the human if she wanted to see the others. Kindness nodded and accepted alphys' outstretched arm. Alphys asked if she wanted a wheelchair but Kindness declined.  
The pair slowly walked put of the operation room towards the waiting room. As the door opened Kindness hoped she wouldn't disappoint whoever was waiting for her. She had barely taken a step into the room when her middle was attacked with a hug from the only other human. Frisk buried their face in Kindness' belly so hard she nearly doubled over. Nearly everyone was in tears at the sight of the human they had only met so briefly before. Kindness wrapped her thin arms around the child and felt her heart glow with purpose.  
Toriel gasped at the strong glow that emanated from the humans. A green glow that was reminiscent of stained ass windows or staring at the underside of leafs on a sunny day. Her motherly instincts told her to envelop the two in a hug but she did not wish to end the moment just yet. The girl looked to be perhaps in her late teens early twenties with a long figure and sad features. Her age puzzled Toriel, last time they had met kindness couldn't have been more than ten or twelve. She hoped this wouldn't cause problems for the human, she wasn't sure wether she could see any more of her children cry.  
After a minute or two, frisk pulled away, signing congratulations and wearing the largest smile they had worn since breaking the barrier.  
Kindness smiled back at frisk and looked like she might rival their smile with her own.  
Kindness' legs wobbled and she found herself falling to her knees with a thud. Frisk pulled at her arm futility, kindness' head bobbed and she glimpsed the monsters scrambling to catch Kindness before she fell. 'What a waste' she thought 'This kindness was wasted on me.' Her eyes rolled back into her head as yells and footsteps echoed in her ears


	5. Before i fell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kindness remembers her life before she fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so sorry for not posting for like a month :V

Kindness rolled over and sat up and swing her legs over the side of the bed.  
'Mat?' Her voice was hoarse, barely a whisper. She looked out the window and saw the summer sun glaring down at her. The flowers waved in the sun as if trying to say something. She stared closer at the yellow flowers. She thought she saw something looking at her in the flower field. Something flickered in her vision and she drew back from the windowsill with a gasp.  
'Mathew?' Kindness got on her feet only to crumple her knees.   
'Mathew!' Kindness raised her voice as loud as she could, which was still barely audible. She crawled to the doorway and pulled herself up with the doorknob.   
'Mathew!' Her voice returning she hobbled down the halls. She leaned heavily against the walls as she continued down the hall to Mathew's room. She turned down a corridor and practically fell into Mathew's room.   
'Mathew, its happening again, we have to leave.' Her vocal chords screamed at her to be quiet and she wished she could scream at all. Her eyes blurred and she saw a smiley face beaming back at her. She opened her mouth to scream but only air came out from her bruised vocal chords. She blinked and held her hands in front of her face before falling to the ground once again. A hand touched her shoulder and she looked up to see a scaled snout looking down at her worryingly. Alphys. Alphys was in Mathew's room. No Mathew had been gone for..... years. Tears dripped to the floor as Kindness sobbed silently for him. She was too late. Her mouth hung open and shook heavily withs sobs as that last decade fell on her shoulders. One year at a time. Falling, dying, watching, waiting. 

Alphys watched the sobbing human in front of her with horror. Was it her? Was it her fault again? she rested a hand on the humans shoulder and tried to calm them down with soothing words of ' it's ok' and ' you're fine now.' The effect was less than helpful. Alphys started to panic and tried desperately to think of ways she had been calmed by her friends in times like this. Her mind was blank with panic and she reaches for her phone as a last resort.   
The cries coming from the ball that was kindness had silenced but the tears still reverberated through her chest and shoulders in a way that made Alphys pray to the stars that Toriel could help. Toriel seemed the most logical choice since she had that comforting presence that only mothers can provide.   
As soon as the monster on the other end picks up Alphys rushes a plea for her to come over to the house and to bring frisk as well. Toriel seems to understand that the situation is urgent and replies that she will be there soon.   
Alphys kneels down next to kindness and whispers that frisk and toriel will be there soon. Kindness nods but continues to cry. Alphys tentatively reaches for kindness' hand and pats it as reassuringly as she can.   
''Monsters,' kindness thinks, 'are too kind for their name. I do not deserve to be called kind when i can do so little for them.' This sends kindness into another wave of tears that makes Alphys want to huge her so badly. She has had these kinds of episodes before and knew that hugs or too much physical contact can make someone uncomfortable or trigger some memories that are...less than happy. Alphys feels that it might be better to comfort her verbally since she doesn't know all of Kindnesses boundaries yet.   
'C-can you tell m-me what happened?' Alphys said softly.   
Kindness tried to take a couple of deep breaths before starting to talk. 'I had a brother, well a step brother but he never like anything less than family. My mother was always indifferent to him but i loved him as much as i could..' Kindnesses voice had been weak and scratchy from the beginning but its cracking and wavering got worse as she continued. 'We lived near the base, a little ways away from town since my father was a carpenter and wanted to be near the trees. My mother had helped him and i'm sure they would have created the most beautiful things. My father always thought he was unbreakable until he got sick and couldn't work anymore. He died some months later and my mother remarried, a woman this time. They loved each other so much i was so happy for both of them.' Kindness smiled and the tears stopped for a moment. 'My new second mother brought son from a previous marriage and i was happy to take care of him while they worked in the shop all day. Eventually they realized that carpentry was an old business in the 'modern word' and my step mother went off to find a job to keep us afloat, but soon they both had to find jobs since the money was thin to inexperienced office workers. I was the woman of the house and had to manage the house for all of us. I loved cooking the best. I loved seeing everyone happy and a family. Our perfect family was just that, perfect. My brother liked to go exploring and this was fine and all until he was five and i was ten and he started to be interested in the mountain.' Kindness gritted her teeth as tears slipped down her cheeks. She closed her eyes and tried to exhale calmly. 'I saw a flower one morning outside my window and went to investigate. It smiled at me.'


	6. First encounter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kindness remembers a fateful day in her past when she meets a monster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Im super sorry im posting really far apart. School is hell. Anyway, enjoy!

Kindness had been silent for a few minutes, her face frozen in reminisce and.... and fear. Her puffy eyes scrunched up, as if she was seeing something she didn't want to but couldn't look away either.  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
The window creaked in the humid breeze as the sun beat down and reflected into her eyes. The sizzling of breakfast only added to the cloud of heat that surrounded her. She flipped the eggs in her pan and laughed at something Mathew had said just moments ago. She eyed the eggs and deemed a couple more minutes before they were to be done. She wiped her hands on the course, worn fabric of her apron. She walked over and ruffled Mathew's long hair. He had tied it back in a makeshift headband out of a faded ribbon that had once had adorned her mothers hair when her father was alive. It tugged at her heartstrings once in a while but as memories piled up she began to feel the ribbon had a new meaning, and that meaning was to sit lopsided on Mathew's head. He giggled and grabbed her hand in a playful attempt to hold her hostage. She pleaded with a smile that the eggs would burn and thanked her captor when he released her hand. She slid the eggs onto the toast that had been standing at the ready. The sizzling had burned her hand in the early years or her cooking but now callouses and healed over burns gave her a natural set of gloves.  
She set the plate in front of Mathew and turned to the window, wishing for a breeze. Her wish was granted and she closed her eyes to better feel the coolness on her sweaty skin. Her eyes opened to watch the ripples of the golden glades that curled lazily around the house. She made a mental note to inspect the flowers that had been slowly creeping up on the glades, they would look nice on the table, she thought. But... they were too close to the mountain for her to feel comfortable leaving Mathew unattended if he followed her.  
'Can we go exploring today?' Mathew pipped up after scarfing down his breakfast. He put on his best pout and looked up at her through his lashes in such a way he knew she couldn't ignore.  
'That all depends...' she answered slowly. 'Do you mean exploring beyond the field?'  
'Yes!'  
'And by beyond the field do you mean... up the mountain?'  
'Ye... no.' She looked at him hard and sighed heavily.  
'I will take you to the edges of the field but i forbid you, i forbid you from going up the mountain. It's dangerous, you know that.' She gripped the edges of the counter and tried to even out her breathing. She had seen the chasm that rested at the top of the mountain, and heard the stories of missing children who had last been seen making their way towards the top of ebott. She wouldn't risk her family getting hurt or separated. And if that wasn't enough, earlier this morning she had seen a peculiar flower out side her window that morning. Although it disappeared the next minute and she wasn't entirely sure it was real. Even if it wasnt real she still felt like something was just about to happen.  
Mathew looked at her, a little disappointed. But, in the end going out only a little ways was better than staying inside.  
She gathered up his plate and set them in the sink, hearing the clink loudly in the gap of conversation.  
'All right Mathew, lets go.' She grasped his hand and they set off across the glade. Mathew bounced ahead and left her to walk slowly behind, picking at plants and flowers, recognizing some and studying others. She was sure to keep Mathew within her sight calling him back when he got too far or when she found and insect she knew he would love.  
Soon they were nearing the creek that skirted the glade. They were both grateful for the shade the trees provided and were splashing in the stream when something caught her eye. She walked carefully over to the mouth of the creek and looked again, trying to figure out what had caught her eye. It was something blue... she laid down her bounty and kneeled in the river, not noticing her soaking pants. She craned her neck as far as it could to see under the boulders that crowned the entrance to what she could only guess was the start of the river.  
She saw a pale blue flower staring back at her. It was bright and fully visible despite the locations lack of natural sunlight....it was glowing? The more she stared the more sure she was that she could hear words overlapping with the soft babble of the water. She had to listen a few times before she thought she understood what it was saying. But no, it was a flower after all. She drew back blinking, trying to readjust to the sunlight. Her mind was cluttered with questions and fears and explanations and doubts and... no, it was just a flower. Nothing strange, just a blue flower. And, now that she thought about it, the flower would look lovely in a vase. She leaned back down a plucked the flower from it's hidden cave. The color seemed to fade as soon as it touched the sunlight and she felt some distress at the wilting flower.  
'Mathew, come look at this flower! I isn't it beau...' she looked around for mathew and found that he was nowhere to be seen.  
Her heart dstopped and her stomach churned. Her breakfast fighting for air and stealing her breath. Maybe he had gone back to the house. She knew the chances were slim but she couldn't help but look.  
when she arrived back at the house she didn't find mathew there. In the kitchen however, there was a slight disturbance to the pots and pans in the sink. In the pan she had used this morning was a blue flower, similar to the one she had picked back at the stream. She approached cautiously and heard a soft voice coming from the flower. Leaning her head as close as she dare she was able to pick out a few words. 'Human your brother...top of ebott...for your soul....come ready to fight.' The last fragment made fear blossem in her stomach and fury rippling along her shoulders. She turned towards the mountain and gritted her teeth. It would not take her brother away. Grabbing her pan as a weapon if need be and donning her apron to fight in style. She scampered out of her house and over roots and rocks as quick as she could. She reached a clearing and stared as she saw Mathew playing with a flower. The same flower she had seen that morning. He was right next to the pit. Vines grew out of it's opening and covered the nearby earth with a sickly green, like many fingers pulling themselves desperately out onto the edges of their prison. She took a step forward. Not wanting to startle whatever she knew occupied the pit. She took another step forward and saw the flower whip toward her. The flower grimaced and wrapped a thin vine around Mathew's ankle. No. She felt her blood chill and clutched her sponge tighter. Suds dripped down her fingers and pooled on the ground. The flower smiled and vines slowly slowly began to pull Mathew into the pit. No no. She raised her arm and threw the sponge at the flower. It scowled as the sponge bounced against it's yellow petals.  
'Well, howdy! Don't worry, I'll be back for you too! The monsters are getting rowdy y'know? Gotta grab what ya can while it's still kicking.' The high pitched voice of the flower grated against her eardrums. She took another step forward.  
'Fiesty human!' The flower giggled and sank back into the hole. Pulling Mathew with it.


End file.
